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Fighting Hard and Fighting Fair 1: We All Fight for Something

Fighting Hard and Fighting Fair Day 1- We All Fight for Something

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, ESV)

Marriage is hard. It’s also beautiful at times, but most of us can relate to challenging seasons in our relationship. And since challenges will come, we have to decide ahead of them what we are fighting for. As believers, fighting for our marriage is a must, and “holding fast” is our goal. Though there may be exceptions in the case of infidelity or physical abuse, fighting for our marriage should be a lifelong endeavor we’re actively engaged in. 

Let me preface this short study by saying that I fail in this sometimes. I forget some days that I’m fighting for my marriage instead of fighting in my marriage. I haven’t perfected this yet and constantly need to be reminded that there is so much beauty and reward when in our marriage we reflect the love of Christ for His bride (us). When I fail in this, I fail to accurately demonstrate to a watching world this relational pattern and bring dishonor to Him, even while I know His grace is sufficient. 

And so we need to pre-determine boundaries in our marriage and decide we will fight for it. In this brief study, we will look at some of the unhealthy patterns we’ve allowed into our marriages. Satan longs to destroy the picture of a godly marriage because it is the picture of God’s love for the Church. When he is able to distort and ruin that picture, he wins. 

What lies has Satan been feeding you about your own marriage? I’ve had to tune my ears and listen with discernment, because Satan is often whispering words or thoughts to make me doubt and ask myself questions that only lead to discontentment. Here are some of the whispered words I’ve heard, and maybe you have too:

You deserve better!

He/she will never change, so why bother?

Someone else would treat you better.

The kids would be better off without the arguing.

It’ll just be easier to give up than to keep trying to make it work.

Guess what? All of those statements are lies. You made the choice together, for better or worse; this is the life you chose. And it can be good—so good. Focusing on changing yourself for the better should be the goal over trying to change your partner; that’s God’s work, not yours. And the kids are not better off in a broken home; both parents, together—that’s His design. Also, it’s never really easier to give up and get divorced. There is so much baggage in a broken marriage and the painful pieces are only carried forward. So when you hear the voices in your head, learn to discern who the speaker is. 
When we fight for our marriage, we are fighting for something good. Relationships present many challenges, but with godly wisdom, commitment, determination and sometimes even professional counseling, victory is not only possible but probable. Before we move on in this study, ask yourself if you’ve been listening to Satan’s voice regarding your marriage, or if your ears are tuned to the Holy Spirit. God desires an abundant life for you—with your spouse—but you must be wise enough to fight hard and fight fair.

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