You are currently viewing Fighting Hard and Fighting Fair Day 2- Leaving Home

Fighting Hard and Fighting Fair Day 2- Leaving Home

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother…” (Genesis 2:24a, ESV)

I have two grown children, and one of my biggest challenges is learning to let go. When my son got married, our relationship changed forever. While his father and I used to be authority figures for him, that changed when he married his wife. From that day forward, we became supporters and encouragers but no longer hold any authority over him. And for moms, especially, this can be a hard change. But when we look at what Scripture teaches, we see clearly that our role as parents drastically changes when they leave our little nest. This is designed by God for their good, and ours, too.

A godly marriage is a bond between one man and one woman, with Christ at the center. Within that relationship there can only be these three. While it’s respectful and even wise to consider godly advice from parents going forward, that “leaving” means just what it suggests—a severing. My own mother and father, while I dearly love them both, have no place within my marriage. I do occasionally ask them for advice, but I am thankful they do not meddle but encourage all of their children to work out their relational issues themselves. They were “for” us, but not so much so that they interfered in any way.

Today’s question is this: How involved are your parents in your marriage relationship? And if you’re the parent, do you insert yourself in areas that aren’t meant for you?

Fighting for our marriage may mean, at times, that we set boundaries with our parents. This can feel a little scary, but you must firmly place boundaries; this should be done in a loving way, never in a disrespectful way. While it may upset some parents, it’s still the right thing to do. Your marriage is between you and your spouse; learning this is essential for a healthy relationship.

For parents (and I speak to myself here), being a support system is an honorable role to have. Supporting my children means I value their marriages and pray for victory. It means I encourage their bond. And while I’m here to listen, I need to understand their relationship with their spouse is more important than their relationship with me—this is a really hard one, too.

So many victories in our marriage over the years have come with support from our parents, yet each one was charted between just the two of us. At the end of the day, we come home together, into the space our love built. We may have gone to sleep breaking all the rules of not letting the sun go down on our wrath (that’s for another day’s discussion), but we had to figure out our differences and chart our own course.

As we move on with our study tomorrow, take an honest look at your marriage today and make sure you’re not letting in people who aren’t supposed to be there. That three-fold marriage is the goal: you, your spouse and the Lord.

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply