A Brief Look Inside the Book
Hope in These Light Afflictions Day 4- When Trust Is Shattered
*All week, we will be taking pieces of a devotional I wrote on marital infidelity, Hope in These Light Afflictions. The story is mine and shares many thoughts and feelings from that part of my life’s journey. While it was a season of incredible emotional pain, it also opened the door to becoming better acquainted with the Great Comforter. My prayer is that our story will point others facing similar pain to Jesus. Additionally, I pray that some of the things I learned through that period of time would be a help to even just one.
It starts with one lie. A lie bigger than saying your clothing doesn’t make you look fat when maybe it does. It’s something much more serious in nature than that. In my case, the first lie that stood out to me had to do with his location; his commute home from work was taking longer and longer and things began to not add up. Once you see the first lie clearly, you begin to notice others that follow. This is the beginning of a crumble—the dismantling of a necessary marital ingredient: trust.
My days and thought patterns were completely altered once I lost trust in my husband. Weird locations, cellphone always face down, constant texting, new clothing, hours at the gym, anger, sarcasm, loss of intimacy and weekend business trips were all the pieces that pointed to one awful conclusion—my husband was having an affair. When we begin to doubt our spouse, we begin to wonder who is authentic in our lives if even our own spouse can’t be trusted. When trust is in jeopardy, walls go up. When walls go up, communication is broken.
The mind of a betrayed spouse is a complicated place. It’s a place where anxiety and doubt can be overwhelming. Conclusions are often made based on fear rather than facts. Our confidence is shaken because the lies steal away our sense of security. How we move forward from here is crucial in every way, especially in protecting our own spiritual health. It was so important for me to revisit Scripture and fill my heart with the knowledge of His absolute and unfailing trustworthiness. His Word is filled with kept promises.
If you’re in a place where trust has been broken and your world seems upside down, I want to encourage you to start with Jesus. In Him, we are always accepted and loved. He will never let us down or tell us lies. He is the foundation of our trust, and whether or not we trust our spouse, the truth of Jesus will never fail us. In this simple yet beautiful truth, I clung to Him with everything I had in me.
Maybe you’ll see your marriage restored—what a blessing that is. But even if that doesn’t happen for you, trust can be an everyday part of your life again. You won’t always doubt people, try to read between the lines, and look over your shoulder. You don’t need to carry distrust around and hold back from openly loving and accepting others. But today, if you don’t trust your spouse and there is a legitimate reason for it, seek help from friends, a Christian counselor and the Lord. It’s a frightening place to be—a place where trust has been lost.
Rest in Jesus, friend. He is a sure place to put every bit of your trust. He will never let you down and will always be there for you. While losing faith in your spouse will forever make you feel especially vulnerable in love to any level of dishonesty, Jesus longs to repair your heart. Will you trust Him with it? It’s a safe place, dear hurting one.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4, ESV)
But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. (Psalm 13:5, ESV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5, ESV)