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Integrity in Hidden Places, Day 9- Integrity in Relationships

Week 2 of Integrity in Hidden Places

Day 9- Integrity in Relationships

Ruth P McDonald

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37, ESV)

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34, ESV)


From the moment we say those three little words, “I love you,” Satan will target the believer to turn our words into a lie. You can count on it, especially if you’ve gone further and spoken vows promising to love and be there for one another as husband and wife. So let’s consider today how we’re doing with the promises we’ve made. Are we keeping our word, building up our spouse, honoring them in the hidden places of our hearts? Do we speak well of them, reveal to them our deepest thoughts and feelings, and keep our marriage beds pure and undefiled?

Integrity in relationships is crucial. If we uphold a measure of outward love and commitment while inwardly cheating and longing for things that dishonor Christ and our spouse, we lack integrity and commitment and are in a perilous situation. Be wise enough to discern how your relationship currently sits and if there is a lack of integrity on your part. Spend time in honest prayer before the Lord and seek wise counsel from a godly counselor or friend if needed. Compromised integrity in marriage will surely lead to heartache; your marriage will not be what God intends for you, and there will be trouble ahead. Switching your spouse won’t fix your issues; it’ll just create a new set of “if only’s” for you to consider.

Contemplate if any of these might be true in your own relationship:

I look at pornography
I struggle with lust
I speak negatively about my spouse to others
I daydream about being married to someone else
I find myself comparing my spouse to _______
I hide things from my spouse
I do not give my spouse the affirmation they long for
I flirt with people I’m not married to
I lie to my spouse
I neglect the needs of my spouse
I fail to lead my spouse spiritually


If any of these are true, I encourage you to take the proper steps to make things right. Be honest with your spouse so your integrity can be restored. Are you willing to give up these sinful habits in order to come to a healthier place in your marriage and allow God to bless your relationship as you both come together in honesty and vulnerability? It’ll be worth the effort, and God will honor you for it.

While integrity in our marriages is vital, we need to be authentic in all our relationships. As believers, we do not want any of the following to be true of us:

I gossip about other people
I talk so much about myself that I fail to listen to others
I do not make time for others
I cannot be counted on
I do not pray for my friends and family regularly
I speak harshly to others and use unkind sarcasm often
I cannot keep a confidence
I do not encourage others
I struggle with complimenting others


If we are going to have lasting, solid, impactful relationships, we need to have integrity in all of these areas. We must consider whether or not we are the friend we would want for ourselves, and if not, what part of us needs to change. While we should strive for honesty in our relationships, we also need to balance it with kindness. When what we say behind closed doors is what we would say to someone face to face, we are on track toward building a reputation of integrity before others. God would have us be people who reflect Him in our speech, habits, and especially in those hidden places.

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