Interactive Devotion for Couples Day 3: Tearing Down Walls
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. (Romans 14:19, ESV)
We live in a world saturated by virtual communication—texting, email, social media, FaceTime, etc. There are tons of ways to connect with people, yet we are often disconnected from our spouse, the one we should be connected with the most. We’ve become comfortable with non-verbal communication, struggling with face-to-face interaction. The more we rely on technology to do our talking, the less we are able to handle intimate communication.
There are many things that contribute to the construction of invisible walls between spouses. Some of them are seemingly innocent, like the tendency to overcommit. Gender behavioral differences, physical separation and distrust are also wall-builders. You may have walls around your heart to protect it from further hurt. You may have walls between you from an affair or financial problems. Whatever the reason for the walls in your marriage, it’s time to identify them and work hard to remove them.
I often think of the Garden of Eden before sin, and I wonder what it felt like to be completely vulnerable and open with one another. It must’ve been a beautiful thing. We may be able to get close to that experience in our own marriage but sin has affected everything, even how we communicate. The first step to tearing down the walls that are dividing you is to recognize what they are. If you aren’t comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with your spouse, then it’s safe to assume some walls are in place. Do you trust your spouse to listen to you and respond kindly? Do you hear your spouse, or do you dismiss their thoughts as being unimportant or foolish? Would your spouse consider you to be their first point of contact in an emergency situation? Can you call your wife and share spiritual thoughts? Can you tell your husband or wife about your dreams and goals? All of these should be areas we feel safe to share with our spouse. God removed the barrier between Himself and us by offering His Son as our Mediator. His plan for us is a marriage that is honest, open and communicative. If help is needed to achieve this, I would encourage you to seek help today. You can have the relationship you always dreamed of but you must start with tearing down those walls.
You and Me:
What walls exist within your own marriage?
What is your plan to tear them down?
What part have you played in building those walls?