You are currently viewing Looking for That Special Someone 5: Perfection Doesn’t Exist

Looking for That Special Someone 5: Perfection Doesn’t Exist

Looking for That Special Someone Day 5: Perfection Doesn’t Exist

And Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David the king. (Matthew 1:5-6, ESV)

I remember bobbing up and down in the ocean several years ago with my wife and two of our daughters. We were riding waves on boogie boards and having a ton of fun. But one of our girls kept waiting. A good wave would come, and she would let it pass, saying, “I’ll get the next one.” It kept happening. All the while, everyone else was enjoying the ride. I guess she was waiting for the perfect wave—the wave that would have stories written about it; the kind of wave that, generally, just doesn’t exist at Myrtle Beach unless a hurricane happens to be in the area. She was looking for perfection when it wasn’t going to come. And as she waited, she missed out on all she could have been enjoying.

When it comes to relationships and future spouses, two things come to mind. First, don’t settle. Second, don’t get paralyzed in the pursuit of nonexistent perfection. If you read through the full genealogy of the Lord Jesus in Matthew 1 (fragment above), you’ll find many imperfect marriages existed in the lineage that led to the birth of Christ. Rahab was a prostitute. Imagine if her husband, Salmon, decided that was too much to overcome and never married her. Instead, they were married and fathered Boaz. And then Boaz married Ruth. But wasn’t Ruth a Gentile, born in the enemy land of Moab? Thankfully, they were married, and their offspring led to the great King David. I’m sure you get the drift. The picture-perfect marriage doesn’t exist because perfect people don’t exist. 

Make wise decisions, taking into consideration the things we’ve talked about in the past two days. But don’t get paralyzed into never giving anyone a chance. “But she doesn’t check all 100 boxes on my list.” Okay; that might be fine. “But he’s a New England Patriots fan!” That could be problematic (I kid, I kid). I can’t help but think of a television show where one of the characters broke up with his girlfriend because she said “supposebly” instead of “supposedly.” No matter what you think, if you eventually get married, you are never going to agree on everything with your spouse. It just isn’t going to happen! You might even argue from time to time. A perfect marriage with no disagreements, no arguments, no hurt feelings ever is a pipe dream. We’re all sinners, and that’s the problem. 

So use a little common sense and exert a little flexibility when it comes to certain things. If they involve an unbiblical match (the “unequal yoke” of 2 Corinthians 6:14, proponents of unscriptural teaching, and so on), move on. But there are other things that maybe shouldn’t be deal-breakers. And there is a difference between that and “settling.” I think a person settles when they compromise on what should be non-starters or deal-breakers. But, and I hate to say it, could it be that some folks aren’t heeding the words of the Bible: “For if anyone thinks they are something when they are nothing, they deceive themselves” (Galatians 6:3, ESV, paraphrased for pronouns)? I think we all know people who have a little too high opinion of themselves and are looking for what they consider a perfect match. Well, the math doesn’t add up. But that’s an aside. 

I’m thankful that my wife didn’t pick out all my flaws and find all the reasons to deny me a chance. I’m thankful that she focused on the good. She knows I’m far from perfect, and she accepts and loves me anyway. Doesn’t that remind you of someone else? God doesn’t forgive perfect people—because they don’t exist. I’m imperfect, fallen, and sinful. But He didn’t look at me and move on. Instead, He loved and accepted me anyway!

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply