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The Toxicity of Sexual Sin 4 – Why God Says No

The Toxicity of Sexual Sin Day 4: Why God Says No

She was seven when he started coming down to the basement to visit her at night. She learned to fear the creak of the steps, signaling the arrival of her torture. The nights when he came, she would lie awake for hours staring at the ceiling, tears rolling from her eyes, hating him and, even worse, hating herself. Looking back, she knows it’s why relationships never work for her—she cannot allow anyone to ever have the opportunity to get close enough to hurt her again. So she’s alone, miserable, and wishing to end her meaningless life. 

This is why God says no

They began sleeping together in college. They were committed Christians and came from godly homes. They were taught from God’s Word what was right and what was wrong. They knew they were not honoring God in their sex lives, but so many others weren’t either. In time, they found themselves pregnant, with years of school left, no home, and not even sure they were with the person they wanted to marry anymore. The baby was aborted, and years later, she’s racked with guilt and remorse, remembering the child she didn’t love enough to protect. She never married him, and worse, her new husband can’t understand the guilt she’s faced with every day. Day by day, she withdraws from him, and now they’re practically strangers.

This is why God says no.

Married for three decades, the community looked on them with respect and loved their family and what they stood for. What they couldn’t see was a man who was filled with lustful thoughts and began watching porn years earlier. Eventually, though, watching wasn’t enough, and with time, he began having sexual affairs with multiple women. The day he was discovered was the worst day of her life—and really, the worst for him too. How could they ever recover from the lies, deceit and pain he caused, not only to them but also to their grown children and family members? 

This is why God says no.

Do you get it? Does God withhold things from us to punish us, or is it much more likely that He loves us enough to protect us from the pain associated with disobedience? Going back to the Garden of Eden, we see how God laid down careful instructions in the midst of perfection for Adam and Eve—just one thing was withheld. One. Don’t eat of the tree in the middle of the Garden. Everything else they could ever want or need was right there for them to enjoy. Yet they longed most for what was forbidden, and as a result, they found themselves in a world broken by sin, with pain and death as the new normal. Did life for them before they disobeyed look better, or life after? Do you see why God told them no? 

An unwillingness to obey alienates us from God and His purposes for us. It opens up alternate paths that were not intended for us and will not bring about His best plan for us. This is tragic, and yet many of us fail to see the tragedy until our lives are torn apart by either our own disobedience or the disobedience of those we love. We callously move forward, taking what we want and partaking in whatever we feel like at the time. The cost is high, and while we may feel a temporary taste of pleasure, it quickly sours and turns to bitterness within us.

If you’re actively involved in things you know God has labeled as sin, I urge you today to alter your course. If He’s said “no,” His reasons aren’t to be questioned. When we truly understand the heart of our Father, we know He sets patterns for us that bring life and joy. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, and yet He’s unable to do that when we are living in disobedience. The challenge is to live submitted lives. What does that look like? Obeying God’s “no’s” is one way we can not only honor Him but also guard ourselves from the pain of sinful choices.

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